This is the worst kind of shit. Self-aggrandizing nonsense about how the baby boomer generation enjoyed movies the right way, man, and how millennials don’t appreciate classic film, based on NOTHING. Oh, a bunch of teenagers didn’t like a movie you showed them in class? THAT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE TEENAGERS. 95% of them don’t give a shit about anything. 

Maybe Neal Gabler had a deadline coming up and he had to bullshit an article at the last minute, but the fact that he tries to extrapolate all this from the mere existence of a new Spider-Man movie is lazy. Dear Mr. Gabler: we didn’t ask for a new Spider-Man movie. I know you think that millennials are a bunch of hyperactive attention-deficient philistines, but it’s not like we all looked up from our Game Boys, saw that a Spider-Man movie wasn’t playing before and started clamoring for his return.

“WHERE IS SPIDER-MAN,” they screamed, “I HAVEN’T SEEN A SPIDER-MAN MOVIE FIVE YEARS. I NEED SOMETHING TO TWEET ABOUT. ALFRED HITCHCOCK? IS HE ON TWITTER? IF NOT, THEN I DON’T CARE. I NEED TO FACEBOOKTUMBLRMYSPACEPINTERESTFLICKRGOOGLE RIGHT NOW OR I WILL LITERALLY DIE, LIKE, LITERALLY”

Also, this: 

What this points to is that movies may have become a kind of “MacGuffin” — an excuse for communication along with music, social updates, friends’ romantic complications and the other things young people use to stoke interaction and provide proof that they are in the loop. 

what the fuck are you even talking about